Victor or Victim...the Choice is Yours

Every one of us has a choice to make when we wake up in the morning and start our day. This choice is simple, it’s yours, and you are in complete control of it. Granted some people may face bigger challenges than others, however life will always have ups and downs and that is something that will not change. What you can change is your outlook and how you overcome those challenges. The choice we can all make every day is choosing our attitude.

Think about if for a second, when you wake up and the weather is bad, does that lead to negative thoughts, that then become negative conversations with others? Maybe you had to get up earlier than you normally would, and this turns into complaining to others about how tired you are. Or do you look on the bright side, start to think about all the great things that could happen that day and the days to come? This is what I call the Victim/Victor attitude and it truly is a choice that is made by you and only you.

What fascinates me is the number of people who truly have no clue that they portray a victim mentality. There are varying degrees of this, where some really stand out and others may not. When I facilitate workshops and train to this material it quickly becomes evident as to which category people in the class fall into. Typically, the victims in the class are shocked that this is how they are viewed and how they conduct themselves.

How can you tell if you are in the mindset of being the victim? Here are some examples of what a victim looks like: making excuses, blaming others and not accepting responsibility. Rather than helping with a situation a victim complains about it, or worse they tell you what you did wrong. They display a helpless attitude; defeated, denial, always looking for people to feel bad about their situation, pointing fingers, and conversations are perceived as negative. Does that describe you? If you’re not sure ask a trusted friend/coach who will be honest with you. Not to worry these behaviours can be corrected! However, it takes commitment and a willingness to want to change. With a strong coach you can get on the road to becoming a victor! Your coach should be someone you trust to give you open and honest feedback to steer you in the direction of winning!

Some examples of what a victor looks like: a victor accepts responsibility; a victor knows how important it is to assist in times of crisis. A victor maintains a positive attitude at all times. A victor provides hope no matter what the situation; a victor will encourage, and a victor continually tries to find the good around them. This doesn’t mean that the victor is spreading cheer when the ship is sinking, it’s the opposite. The victor will help to pull things together and they will take the people who are defeated and push and coach them to see their way through any situation. A victor is truly an accountable person!

Accountability is a very interesting word this is often perceived differently by others. For me, I used to believe accountability was about disciplining people for not living up to what they were expected to do, man was I wrong. Accountability is accepting what you are responsible for and living up to your expectations day in and day out. When you make a mistake and you will, you own it and learn from it. When a person makes a commitment to set their sights on being a victor they naturally assume accountability because of how they view things. They also excel over others in their personal life and work, because to them they have an attitude that anything can be accomplished.

Do yourself a favor and start to pay attention to the people around you and observe. Listen for conversations that would describe a victor or a victim, you may be surprised at what you learn.

The mind is a powerful thing folks, tomorrow morning when you wake up, are you going to be a Victor or Victim…. the choice is yours!!