The Asshole Pill
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Normally I wouldn’t use any course language or obscenities in my writing, but for this story to make sense I must, hence the title “The Asshole Pill”! Before I get into the heart of telling this story, I want to say thanks to those of you who take the time to read my material. I have been truly overwhelmed by the text messages, Facebook comments and the amount of face-to-face conversations on how people have been helped by these stories. For that I’m truly grateful and you inspire me to keep going!
About 10 years ago, as I was progressing nicely through a high-level leadership position, I was introduced to the concept of taking an “Asshole Pill”. I should mention that this was a great place to work, and provided me and my family some amazing opportunities. For that I’m always grateful. However, there were some true challenges with our direction and how we should work with people.
It was during my annual performance review when I first heard the term “Asshole Pill’. The review itself was going well, and I felt that I had made some awesome gains over the past year. As part of the review you openly discuss upcoming opportunities and what I was looking for in terms of my next advancement. I had my eye on moving into the next position which was one down from the Plant Manager, and this was no secret. Early on in my career I learned that you should dress for the job you want, not the job you had. I wasn’t shy in doing this and letting my ambitions be known. As we were wrapping up the last part of the feedback, I was told that I was just too nice of a guy and if I wanted to better my career one thing I should do was, “take an Asshole Pill”. So, I asked, “what exactly does that mean??”. I was told that basically I should be harder on my leaders which in turn would make them harder on their teams. This type of Leadership is more of an authoritative approach and unfortunately it is one that gets practiced way too much.
So of course, I gave my Mother a call since I pretty much told her everything (as you read in my “Suit Yourself” article) and we discussed the “Asshole Pill” concept. She said “that’s not who you are Mike. The opposite of being nice is being mean and you’re just not that guy.” So, I listened to my Mother’s words and stuck to my beliefs on how to lead and connect with people. I didn’t get that promotion, which was okay, because I really loved the position I was in at the time. What made me even more happy is that I stuck to what I believed in and the leaders and teams under my guidance became stronger, fostering great relationships.
A few years later, even though it was one of the scariest decisions I ever made, I left that career to pursue my passion within my own business. I’m proud to say this is my 4th year of Coaching and Developing Leaders at Simply Advanced.
Being true to yourself regardless of positions, status, titles and money is the only way to truly be satisfied in your work or personal life. It is good to adapt and be flexible to the never-ending changes in our world as this helps us all grow and be better, but never become someone you’re not, no matter what. It’s not good to sacrifice who you are and, in this case, swallow an “Asshole Pill”.